Yes They Can

There was a time when I believed grief and gratitude were opposites. I thought if I was truly grateful, I shouldn’t still be grieving. And if I was grieving deeply, maybe I wasn’t appreciating the blessings God had given me.

I’ve come to believe they can sit side by side.

Grief doesn’t erase gratitude. Gratitude doesn’t cancel grief.

After years of living with multiple sclerosis, broken bones, long hospital stays, lost independence, and dreams that have changed shape, I’ve discovered that life isn’t an either-or proposition. It’s often both.

I grieve the things I’ve lost.

I miss the woman who could jump in the car without thinking, spend hours planting flowers in the garden, travel without worrying about accessibility, and walk through a friend’s front door without wondering if there are steps.

Those losses are real.

But so are the gifts.

I’m grateful for a husband who stands beside me, family who loves me, friends who pray for me, doctors who care, and a God who has never left me, even on the days when I wondered what He was doing.

Some mornings grief is louder.

Other mornings gratitude sings a little stronger.

Most days they simply share the same bench.

I’ve learned not to feel guilty when I smile while still carrying sadness. Joy isn’t a betrayal of grief. And tears aren’t evidence of weak faith.

Jesus Himself wept at the tomb of Lazarus, even though He knew resurrection was only moments away. His tears remind me that grief has a place, even in the presence of hope.

Gratitude isn’t pretending everything is okay.

It’s choosing to notice that even in the hardest seasons, grace still finds its way into the room.

Sometimes it’s found in a sunrise.

A hot cup of coffee.

A phone call from a friend.

A grandchild’s laugh.

A verse of Scripture that seems written just for today.

Those moments don’t remove the pain.

They simply remind us that pain isn’t the whole story.

As believers, we don’t grieve without hope. Our hope isn’t based on our circumstances but on the One who walks through every valley with us.

If you’re carrying grief today, don’t force yourself to choose between mourning and thanksgiving.

You don’t have to.

Your heart is spacious enough for both.

One hand can hold sorrow.

The other can hold gratitude.

And somehow, by God’s grace, they can walk together.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

Sometimes healing doesn’t begin when grief ends.

Sometimes healing begins when we discover that gratitude can gently take grief’s hand, and together they continue the journey home.

Julie Payne