Every year, I tell myself I’m going to keep Thanksgiving simple. Then I start thinking about the menu, who’s coming, what needs cleaning, and whether we have enough chairs. Before I know it, I’m worried about Christmas, and nobody has even peeled a potato.
I love Thanksgiving. I love hearing people talk over each other at the table and watching someone who swore they were full cut a second piece of pie. What wears me out is the running list in my head while all of that is happening. Did everybody get enough? Did I remember to put the cranberry sauce out? Why am I thinking about the cranberry sauce when someone I love is sitting right across from me telling a story?
Living with MS has made me more aware of how much energy I spend before the day even gets here. I can use up a good chunk of what I have getting ready, then wish I had some left to enjoy the people I was getting ready for. I still catch myself saying, “Oh, I can do that,” as if the woman making the plans and the woman who has to carry them out have never met.
And some of the stress has very little to do with the meal. The holidays bring up memories of people we miss and traditions we wish we could still do the way we used to. Sometimes I miss the version of me who could spend half the day in the kitchen and still have enough energy to sit around afterward and talk. I can be glad for the day I’m having and still miss the way it used to feel.
This year, I want to take people up on it when they ask what they can bring. I want to sit down while there’s still something to do in the kitchen. I might even let somebody else decide where the serving spoons go. We’ll see. I’m making progress, but let’s give it time.
When we say grace, I want to thank God for the people around the table and for the hands that helped get the meal there. I might ask Him to help me slow down enough to hear the end of somebody’s story.
And if I open the fridge the next morning and find the cranberry sauce still sitting there, I hope I laugh. I’ll put it on my leftover turkey sandwich and think about who went back for more pie.
Squirrels on the Journey Home 🐿️
How have you dealt with the stress of the holidays?
Do you find yourself doing more than you can handle?
Do you still have a hard time setting boundaries that would put yourself first?
I’ve learned that if I let people know my boundaries ahead of time they tend to respect them.
I would love to hear from you and what you are doing during this holiday season.
Julie Payne
Leave a Reply