Grief Is Love With Somewhere To Go

Last week I had breakfast with a friend who had recently lost her husband unexpectedly. As we talked I found that her grief and my grief even though different, had a lot in common. I used to think grief only came after someone died.

But life has taught me differently.

Grief arrives in many forms. It comes when health changes. When dreams quietly fade. When relationships end. When independence slips away. It even comes when we’re saying goodbye to the person we used to be.

The hardest part about grief is that it doesn’t follow a schedule.

Some mornings you wake up feeling strong, and by afternoon a familiar song, a photograph, or a certain smell catches you off guard. Suddenly, your heart is standing in yesterday.

I’ve learned not to see those moments as setbacks.

They’re reminders.

Reminders that we loved deeply.

Reminders that something mattered.

Reminders that our hearts were never meant to stop caring.

As someone living with multiple sclerosis, I’ve grieved many things over the years. I’ve grieved the loss of physical strength, the loss of independence, and the version of my future I once imagined.

There have been seasons when I wanted my old life back.

But I’ve also discovered something unexpected.

Grief and gratitude can share the same heart.

I can grieve what I’ve lost while thanking God for what remains.

I can miss yesterday while still embracing today.

I can cry and still believe that joy is waiting around the next corner.

If you’re grieving today, whatever the reason, be gentle with yourself.

Healing isn’t about forgetting.

It’s about learning to carry love in a new way.

One day you’ll smile at a memory instead of crying over it.

Another day you may cry again.

Both are signs of a heart that has loved well.

Julie Payne